10 Powerful Ways to Trust Yourself When Everyone Has an Opinion

2. Why We Crave Outside Approval?

Understanding why we’re drawn to outside validation can help us use it more wisely. Studies show that people heavily dependent on external feedback are more likely to experience chronic self-doubt—and social media has made this tendency more common.

Why it’s important: Our brains are naturally wired to seek acceptance from our community because, from an evolutionary perspective, group acceptance was tied to survival. In modern life, this instinct can sometimes work against us, creating hesitation when we try to consider too many perspectives at once.

The reality is that seeking multiple perspectives can sometimes lead to more confusion rather than clarity. Each person’s advice reflects their own experiences, values, and circumstances, which may be quite different from yours.

3. Review Your Track Record

You’ve been making decisions your entire life, and chances are, you’re better at it than you think. Most of us tend to remember our mistakes more vividly than our successes, creating a skewed perception of our abilities.

Why it’s important: Looking at your history can help you recognize patterns of good judgment. When you review your track record objectively, you’ll likely discover that you’ve made many solid choices—and learned valuable lessons from the decisions that didn’t work out as expected.

President Obama used what he called the “51% rule”: if he had reasonable confidence in a decision, that was sufficient to move forward. Many decisions we spend time analyzing aren’t as consequential as they feel, and sometimes the cost of overthinking can exceed the risk of choosing imperfectly.

4. Start Small and Build Confidence

Like any skill, self-trust develops through practice. Starting with low-stakes decisions allows you to build your confidence muscle without the pressure of major consequences.

Why it’s important: Research shows that small accomplishments create momentum and positive feelings about your capabilities. Each time you make a choice and follow through—even with something simple like choosing a restaurant—you’re building evidence of your ability to make decisions and stick with them.

Working toward larger goals through smaller, manageable steps can build confidence in your decision-making process. Think of it as developing a skill—you start with easier decisions and gradually build your comfort with more complex choices.

5. Use Values as Your Guide

When you’re clear about what matters most to you, decisions become much easier. Your values provide objective criteria that cut through the noise of conflicting advice and emotional reactions.

Why it’s important: Studies show that people who are clear about their personal values tend to experience less anxiety and feel more settled in their choices. Values can act like a helpful filter, making it easier to determine which advice feels relevant to your situation and which doesn’t.

Values-aligned decisions often feel more authentic, even when outcomes aren’t exactly what you hoped for. When you can see that you acted in accordance with what matters most to you, it’s easier to feel confident about your choice-making process.

6. Embracing Uncertainty

Complete certainty rarely exists, and waiting for it can sometimes become a way of avoiding action altogether. Learning to be comfortable with some uncertainty is often part of effective decision-making.

Why it’s important: Research suggests that small amounts of productive hesitation can actually improve decision-making. However, there’s usually a point where additional analysis provides diminishing returns and can increase anxiety rather than clarity.

Perfectionism can sometimes prevent progress. The mental energy spent trying to eliminate all uncertainty might be better used taking thoughtful action and adjusting course as you learn more.

7. Practice Self-Compassion

How you respond to yourself when decisions don’t work out as planned can significantly impact your willingness to trust yourself in the future. Self-criticism tends to undermine confidence, while self-compassion can help build resilience.

Why it’s important: Research by Dr. Kristin Neff shows that self-compassion helps people learn from mistakes rather than become overwhelmed by them. Her work reminds us that making imperfect choices is a normal part of the human experience—something everyone goes through.

Sometimes decisions that don’t work out as expected can lead to unexpected opportunities or important insights. When you can treat yourself with understanding during these moments, you maintain the emotional space needed to keep taking thoughtful risks.

8. Create Decision Boundaries

Frequently looking outside yourself for answers can sometimes make you forget that you have your own decision-making capabilities. Setting some limits on advice-seeking and research time can help protect your confidence in your own judgment.

Why it’s important: Decision-making research suggests that taking breaks from analysis can sometimes improve decision quality compared to continuous overthinking. There’s often a point where additional information doesn’t significantly improve outcomes—it may just increase uncertainty.

Sometimes a “good enough” choice can be perfectly adequate. Since many decisions can be adjusted later if needed, the goal often isn’t to find the objectively “best” choice but to make a reasonable one and move forward thoughtfully.

9. Trust Your Body’s Wisdom

Your body can provide valuable information that your analytical mind might miss. Learning to notice physical sensations can help you access your intuitive responses more easily.

Why it’s important: Sometimes your body responds to choices before your conscious mind has fully processed all the implications. Physical sensations—like feeling expansive versus constrictive when considering options—can offer information about whether choices feel aligned with your authentic preferences.

Free-form writing can help you access your honest thoughts without the pressure of immediate analysis. When you write without editing, you sometimes discover insights about what you really think about a situation.

10. Remember Decisions Are Reversible

One common barrier to self-trust is worrying that we’ll be “stuck” with our choices. In reality, many decisions can be adjusted or even reversed, and taking action often provides clearer information than extended analysis.

Why it’s important: Knowing you can make adjustments or change course can open up more possibilities in your thinking. It can reduce the pressure to get everything exactly right the first time, which sometimes prevents forward movement altogether.

Your future self will have access to more information, different circumstances, and continued personal growth. You can reasonably trust that future version of yourself to handle whatever comes up, just as you’ve navigated challenges in the past that you couldn’t have fully anticipated.