Deep within each of us lies a central motivating force—our life’s purpose. As author Richard J. Leider writes in his book The Power of Purpose, “Purpose is the deepest dimension within us—our central core or essence—where we have a profound sense of who we are, where we came from and where we’re going.” When you’re living in alignment with this purpose, you experience a powerful sense of fulfillment, direction and inner peace.
Yet for many, a gap exists between this innate purpose and the realities of daily life, especially when it comes to two major domains: career and relationships. We may feel stuck in an unfulfilling job or grappling with strained connections to loved ones, leading to a pervasive sense that we’re not living the life we were meant to live.
Bridging this divide is an essential component of the personal growth journey. As pastor Rick Warren puts it in his bestseller The Purpose Driven Life, “The purpose of your life fits into a much larger, cosmic purpose that God has designed for eternity.” By taking intentional steps to align your outer world with your inner purpose, you can unlock immense personal and professional satisfaction.
The question is: How? Here is a step-by-step guide for syncing your purpose with your career and relationships, paving the way for a more meaningful life.
1. Clarify Your Purpose
The first step in aligning your life with your purpose is to gain crystal clarity on what that purpose is. Purpose is highly personal, so while you can gain inspiration from others, ultimately you must look within yourself to uncover the unique mission you feel called to pursue.
Some guiding questions to explore:
- What activities make me come alive? When do I feel “in the zone”?
- How do I most love contributing to others and the world?
- What are my deepest held values? How can I embody those more fully?
- At the end of my life, what would I want to be remembered for?
One powerful activity is to write your own eulogy or epitaph. What would you want others to say about the impact you had, the person you were, the life you led? Working backwards from that vision can shine a light on the purpose you want to fulfill.
It’s okay if you don’t have full clarity yet. Purpose is a lifelong discovery process. Start with a statement or overarching vision that feels directionally correct, and allow it to evolve over time. The key is committing to living “on purpose” rather than drifting aimlessly.
If you’re seeking more guidance at this stage, consider checking out the article “The Power of Purpose-Driven Living” or the book The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, an allegory about pursuing your true calling.
2. Assess Alignment in Your Career
With a working sense of your purpose, you can start examining various areas of your life to assess their degree of alignment. Let’s start with your career.
Reflect on your current professional path:
- Does my work enable me to express my core purpose and values?
- Am I utilizing my unique gifts in a meaningful way?
- Does my job excite and energize me more often than it depletes me?
- Am I proud of the contribution I’m making through my work?
If you answer “no” to any of these questions, there may be an misalignment between your career and overarching purpose. This can manifest as feeling stuck, bored, stressed, undervalued or conflicted in your work life.
You essentially have two choices: reshape your current role or change directions. Both are valid options depending on your situation.
To reshape your current role, look for ways to “job craft” – tweaking the responsibilities, relationships, and perceptions that make up your job. Could you take on a project that sparks your passion? Collaborate with colleagues who inspire you? Reframe how you view your role to connect with a larger sense of meaning? Small changes can hugely improve fulfillment.
If you feel completely out of sync in your career, it may be time to contemplate a bigger shift. This doesn’t necessarily mean jumping into a new field right away – you can take exploratory steps like volunteering, taking on side projects, or networking in areas of interest. The goal is progressively building a career that enables you to show up fully and do work that matters to you.
For a step-by-step approach to job crafting, check out the article “Integrating Purpose into Your Professional Life”. If considering a larger transition, the book What Color Is Your Parachute? by Richard N. Bolles is a classic go-to guide.
3. Nurture Purpose-Driven Relationships
Just as with your career, your relationships can be wellsprings of purposeful connection or sources of draining misalignment. Being surrounded by people who “get” and support your purpose makes a world of difference.
Evaluate the landscape of your personal relationships:
- Do the people I spend time with know and champion my purpose?
- Do my interactions leave me feeling energized and encouraged in my mission?
- Am I showing up authentically and vulnerably in my relationships?
- Do I feel a balanced give-and-take, where I both contribute to and feel nurtured by my relationships?
The adage that “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” underscores how powerfully our social environment shapes us. Relationships that consistently detract from or denigrate your purpose will make it immensely challenging to live on point.
This doesn’t mean you need to cut off anyone who doesn’t 100% share your worldview. But you should develop a strong inner circle of people who resonate with your values and help you stay anchored in your truth. Quality trumps quantity here.
You may need to renegotiate dynamics in existing relationships:
- Setting better boundaries around your time and energy
- Having honest conversations about your evolving priorities
- Lovingly releasing connections that have run their course
At the same time, proactively cultivate new relationships with like-hearted individuals. Join groups or attend events related to your purpose and passions. Open up about what really lights you up. The people you’re meant to walk with will recognize that essence in you.
As a complementary step, reflect on how you can further live your purpose in your existing connections. How can you be a force of inspiration, an example of joyful determination, a pillar of compassionate truth-telling? Sometimes embodying your values is the most powerful way to attract and sustain relationships of substance.
To dive deeper into building purpose-driven connections, explore the article “Purpose and Relationships: How Shared Values Strengthen Bonds” or the book Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi, an guide to building genuine professional relationships.
4. Embrace the Journey
Aligning your life with your purpose is a courageous, continual choice. It’s not about achieving a singular moment of perfect alignment but rather committing to the ongoing practice of staying centered in your mission and adjusting course as needed.
It won’t always be comfortable. Living on purpose often means going against the grain of societal expectations, disappointing others’ preferences for your life path, or navigating the uncharted waters of honoring your inner wisdom above outside opinions. There will be moments of doubt and struggle.
But the payoff – living a life of authenticity, meaning and inner peace – is more than worth it. When you’re anchored in purpose, you’ll have a steadfast inner compass to navigate the decisions and challenges on your path.
Remember too that your purpose is multifaceted and will evolve across your lifespan. What living your purpose looks like at 20 will be different than at 40 or 60. Hold your vision with determined flexibility, allowing it to shapeshift while still guiding you forward.
Regularly check in with yourself and honestly assess how you’re doing:
- Am I spending my time, energy and attention in ways that reflect what I hold most sacred?
- What is uniquely being asked of me at this juncture in my life’s journey?
- Where have I fallen out of integrity with my purpose? How can I self-correct?
- What support, inspiration or encouragement do I need to stay the course?
Ultimately, the journey of purpose is one of enduring devotion to your own evolution and service to the world. By routinely aligning your career, relationships and overall life with your innermost truth, you’ll be well on your way to crafting a life of incomparable meaning and fulfillment.
As author and civil rights leader Howard Thurman eloquently wrote, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Your purpose is your unique way of coming alive – and sharing that aliveness is the greatest gift you can give.
How to Get Started
If you’re feeling inspired to align your life with your purpose, here are some concrete action steps to get started:
- Block out time this week to reflect on and/or journal about your purpose. Use the guiding questions in section one and don’t rush the process. This introspective work is some of the most important you can do.
- Identify one small action you could take in your career and one in your relationships to honor your purpose. It could be as simple as having a purposeful conversation or signing up for a class. Build momentum with small victories.
- Find an accountability buddy, mentor or coach to support you in your purpose journey. Share your vision and commitment with someone who will compassionately hold you to your highest potential.
- Educate yourself with purpose-related resources. In addition to the recommended reads shared here, explore the wealth of books, workshops, and tools available for discovering and living your purpose. Never stop learning and growing.
Remember, you have a unique purpose, and the world needs you to fulfill it. You won’t be perfect, but you can be purposeful – and that’s when the real magic happens. Here’s to your extraordinary journey ahead!
